failing

yes, it is wrong to believe you failed God and just give up. no matter what God can still use you in the midst of your failures. that's you weakest hour and that's God's strongest. and to let someone else always take your blessings isn't right either. God is the one that gave it to you. so you need to take it and open it. it might just be the healing you need or the answer you've been seeking . to not give up on God and your ministry is faithfuilness; when you doubt it might put a limp in your walk with God but it doesn't have to disable you.

if you learn to use that doubt as your Challenge in getting stronger in Christ it just might increase your faith in HIm. God loves us and sometimes we have to be taught with tough love. each person has a weakness whether it be your family, friends, emotions, or items/ material.
I love easily but that doesn't mean i trust you. it took me a few years to trust GOd and only 2 seconds to feel betrayed by him.

but you see, when i felt betrayed i was actually being loved with toughness. i felt like he was taking everything and everyone away from me to hurt me.
and in a way it was, but he actually wanted to show me his power. and how he will always be there for me.

Challenges will arise no matter who you are. if you are one that can handle more; than God will give you more. not to drown you but to make you survive.

he knows the weight on our shoulders; he's held it just as you. the only difference is that you don't have to scarifice your life for mankind. all you have to do is give it to God and stop taking it back.

your load is to be unburden; why? Jesus' blood is suffient enough to hold you and your problems on his shoulders.

every time you feel as if you are alone; you need to look to the heavens and call out to God. it's true you might not see him but trust me when he enters a room you feel him.

so don't give up on God nor on your ministry. GOD has a purpose for your life and well it's up to you if you want to live it. take the challegne and go for it. it's worth all the pain and suffering. he'll give you a life worth living and a death worth waiting for. we do not die but rather sleep for the moment we enter into HEAVEN with God.

unspoken inspiration

Profound eyes of dedication to a collection of broken songs that once were enough to survive by.

But oh how your tocuh kindled my soul to unravel the truth to restoration.

your laughter ignited a longing to belong to more than unanswered questions and pain.

But to be submerged by grace, strength and love.

To recall the mystery of living life with assurance and an assembly of memories that would not rage anger or hate but brand with grace and peace.

Devotion was evident in your appearance as well as a combination to your beauty; which did encompass my soul and created a new beginning for me.

Innocently, you manifested your love for me; devoting your heart elegantly to one damaged and worthless.

Grasping your tears within my hands consumed my past as forgiven and forgotten.

Caressing your skin initaited a banquet of laughter and love which does whisper again and again.

you have enchanted me to arise from sackclothe and ashes into a new birth of courage and acceptance.

Held within your genuine friendship and granted with our love has intoxicated me to live once more, my love.

Renewed

A flutter glimpse of past memories
Arise again as I hear the
Broken laughter echo within the silent
Chambers of my heart.

A touch of sweet heaven, once it was,
But now it would be dire
To reveal such secrets which
Once had been concealed
By the vaults within my spirit.

Verily, my mind indeed has tried to reiterate
This love that had once drenched me so
But hidden pain does arise from the shadows
Of my soul.

Etched it had been within my very being,
have begun to fade as scars of times past.
Alas, awake to the hollow depth
Which consumes my sanity
Have all but a slow pant
Of non reality.

Ah, But yes, a sweetness does continually
Submerge from my inner core
For divine pieces of will
Unknown has all but pierced
The emptiness that warps me so.

Truthfully then, I must confess
Mesmerized by those sudden Images of friendship once so dear
Have all but been washed by my forgiving tears;
For a love so strong and pure
Does wrench my soul of hollow spite,
For a sudden light of life
Relieves the ache inside.

Aye, reminisced of Those Days have
Begun to emerge no more;
Enchanted by your Ashed Beauty
Can no longer withstand
This final healing from within
For a divine will has begun
And a divine will
Shall end.

Truthfully than, I have begun again.

Those days

I am but a fool.
Oh, how those sweet autumn days
blissfully caressen my memory.
Those days in which we were but friends
as innocent as a child’s laughter.
Oh, how I feared this dreaded end;
my soul does cruelly remind me of those days.

Yea, I have even reminisced in those days of
tones gone a flare and tempers unmatched.
Oh how I long to seek your forgiveness
for my spirit is restless.

Ah yes, those days in which we spoke of life’s
unforgiving bite and those who need more
than a bandage to heal their broken wounds.

Alas, memories I wish could fade
but oh, how my heart echoes your shadow.
A friend from another life you were
and yet it seemed your presence
re-sketched in to my emptiness.

Once in which we were mesmerized
by the friendship we held was
once as soft and gentle as wings of angels;
wings which have been charred by those who despised.

In those days of which visions lingered in our eyes;
as our lips formed the prophecy.
The days of which we would
stand and drift apart.
The days of which we would be held
by a single thread of memorizes.

In those days of glad tidings and joyous occasions
smeared by envy and jealous hearts
became the brand which burned in our hearts.

Melted thoughts, ruined memorizes
and forgotten actions have all been displayed
by the love of our friendship.
Disputed by many, accused by idle, longed by me.

Foretold Love

I’ve seen you once or twice
in the echo of night.
I had watched you wave and
smile and say hi. I’ve
heard the boost of your laughter,
heartily and true, yet the
gentle light that shines from thine
eyes does call me night after night.

I have yet to touch those
sweet hands of flesh or
that heart of gold. I have yet to
whisper a word into your ears
only to hear your chuckling remarks.

I have yet to put my hands
in thine and know our future
will be okay. I have yet to place
my head on your shoulders and
say, thank you for being my
friend, or that you have a
booger hanging from your nose.

I have yet to witness the
sweat on your brow and the light
of your charismatic smile. I have yet
to intertwine my life with your own.

I have yet to notice your
presence in this busy life,
yet; I thank God for the day I shall love you forever

Ashen Beauty

How then must my life
Be lived?Should it be as the trinkets
Of life that adorn me so?
Or shall it be as this friendship
That I despise?

Words of comfort were replaced
By words of anger and hate.
My lips that once held
Innocence were raped by the
Fabrication of your
arrogance.

My eyes were disguised
By the masquerade you
Upheld;
But the jeweled scales fell
to reveal your twisted face.

Once, Oh, sweet honey
Did intoxicate my taste
Has now lingered into waste.
You have wrapped me in silks
Spun from webs of hurt, brokenness,
And betrayal.

Musical chimes once intoned
To my heart’s song
Now has been crushed
By the mockery of your supposed tough.
All you have said or done has
Turned into a sour memory
Of the past.

For you, my friend, have become
Ashes clothed in Beauty.