yes, it is wrong to believe you failed God and just give up. no matter what God can still use you in the midst of your failures. that's you weakest hour and that's God's strongest. and to let someone else always take your blessings isn't right either. God is the one that gave it to you. so you need to take it and open it. it might just be the healing you need or the answer you've been seeking . to not give up on God and your ministry is faithfuilness; when you doubt it might put a limp in your walk with God but it doesn't have to disable you.
if you learn to use that doubt as your Challenge in getting stronger in Christ it just might increase your faith in HIm. God loves us and sometimes we have to be taught with tough love. each person has a weakness whether it be your family, friends, emotions, or items/ material.
I love easily but that doesn't mean i trust you. it took me a few years to trust GOd and only 2 seconds to feel betrayed by him.
but you see, when i felt betrayed i was actually being loved with toughness. i felt like he was taking everything and everyone away from me to hurt me.
and in a way it was, but he actually wanted to show me his power. and how he will always be there for me.
Challenges will arise no matter who you are. if you are one that can handle more; than God will give you more. not to drown you but to make you survive.
he knows the weight on our shoulders; he's held it just as you. the only difference is that you don't have to scarifice your life for mankind. all you have to do is give it to God and stop taking it back.
your load is to be unburden; why? Jesus' blood is suffient enough to hold you and your problems on his shoulders.
every time you feel as if you are alone; you need to look to the heavens and call out to God. it's true you might not see him but trust me when he enters a room you feel him.
so don't give up on God nor on your ministry. GOD has a purpose for your life and well it's up to you if you want to live it. take the challegne and go for it. it's worth all the pain and suffering. he'll give you a life worth living and a death worth waiting for. we do not die but rather sleep for the moment we enter into HEAVEN with God.
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